my not to little little one

well Ryder weighs 9.4 now. he's getting so big! and he really needs to learn the difference between night and day cuz man oh man is he killing me. i still jaded by the fact that i have like no help. it drives me nuts. poor baby deserves to have a daddy and lord knows when he ever will. im in no run to get into another relationship and Mike is never going to change or step up. its a shame cuz Ryder is probably the best child he'll ever have. i can't wait to pick up his one month pictures in a couple of weeks!! and i've already got ideas for his 3 month pics =) excited!